To do or to just be?

On Advent days, the value of waiting and the practice to be in the moment.

In any cultural, secular, spiritual or personal way you are going to give meaning to the December days that are about to come, there is space for some magic and #wonder.

It’s a month for Advent calendars, and I’d like to take the opportunity to share a reflection on the value of experiencing the here and now, even in a time that is usually measured a-chocolate-a-day until the ultimate, expected Day arrives.

The #Advent can teach us a perspective on #patience, waiting and the difference between being distracted and carried away from wanting to be somewhere else - some other state or condition we crave for - and cultivating instead the ability to just be.

In mindfulness, there is a clear distinction between the ‘being mode’ and the ‘doing mode’.

‘If we’re not careful, it is all too easy to fall into becoming more of a human doing than a human being, and forget who is doing all the doing, and why’ says Jon Kabat-Zinn.

‘The mode of doing is aimed at achieving set goals, focusing on the discrepancy between our idea of ​​where we are right now and our ideas of where we want to be. The mode of being does not deal with the gap between the way things are and the way we would like them to be. This orientation to "not fight" contributes in itself to free us from the rigorous concentration on the goal that is typical of the doing mode. Furthermore, in the modality of being there is no need for continuous monitoring and evaluation to verify if the state we're in corresponds to our idea. This is reflected in our way of paying attention to experience, which is not judgemental and is based on welcoming experience itself. It is very important to be clear that, when we stop constantly evaluating our experience, we do not find ourselves drifting without any purpose or goal for our actions; we can still act with intention and purpose. Compulsive, habitual and unconscious doing is not the only source of motivation available. In fact, we can also act in the modality of being’. Take a look at a video on this topic here https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=share&v=q-2QoTYujNg&app=desktop 

So how to live the path until Christmas in a mindful way, and why?

The period before Christmas, often lived frantically, this year will perhaps be different out of necessity and may require finding a new approach. It becomes very important to embody a welcoming environment, for ourselves, our loved ones and for the children, cultivating the ability to make some space for change which - especially in moments rich in expectations and traditions - can be unwanted and thus generate stress and suffering.

My proposal is to live the Advent mindfully, cultivating the being mode every day, without being carried away by that familiar doing mode that makes these days of December slip away, while they have so much richness in them.

The invitation is to value the journey and patience, embracing each moment, making the wait magical by stopping and savouring each step of the way.

We really tend to struggle to wait and be patient in our contemporary life habits, and we often distract ourselves doing anything that can make time pass until we are in a desired state, that will then necessarily pass itself and likely put us again in the condition of being dissatisfied and feel restless. Instead, the ability to simply be here and now is a very important skill, for adults and children, and must be cultivated with determination, without looking for shortcuts. This is one of the most powerful gestures of education and self-care: every activity dedicated to cultivating the ability to stay, to wait, without filling the moment with things to do or distractions makes us stronger and fit for life. What is more valuable?

In English (and not only) a gift is also defined as a 'present'.

This moment is a gift, this exchange with your children, with your family and friends is a gift, it becomes easier by practicing the attitude of mindfulness consistently and integrating the principles that are its foundation into our daily life, bringing nourishment, calm, #compassion and the ability to appreciate to every step of our way.

What does it mean then to live the Advent mindfully? It is an opportunity to make Advent not just a countdown to the most awaited day, but 25 days to be fully experienced, awareness after awareness, thus savouring even more this magical period of the Year.

So, instead of counting the days, let’s make each day count!