Well, I think it's every day.
When I think of mental health I think of health.
This is the starting point. If we need to distinguish the two, it probably means we made some steps towards wider awareness, and still have a long way to go.
When I think of mental health, I think about human interactions, and how we all can be a potential nurturing environment for ourselves and the other, and how we can also represent a toxic environment instead. This is not about finding a guilty, it is indeed about awareness and responsibility.
When I think of mental health, I know how interesting it is as a topic, and I also know that care is not about becoming experts in describing clusters of symptoms within a medical model, often with the aim of producing/implementing protocols (even if under some conditions I find these absolutely useful).
I have taken a wonderful transdiagnostic, humanistic, transcultural pathway following
exceptional experiences with trainers such as Kelly Wilson, Steven C. Hayes, Vikram Patel, but also books by Eugenio Borgna and phenomenological psychopathology, … a never ending journey.
A major part of my job is to guide people in the direction of acquiring new perspectives, cultivating awareness of their possibilities through offering a safe, solid, compassionate and caring presence, often including some fun too. Irony helps provide a touch of lightness, which has nothing to do with superficiality, within a journey through personal change that requires lots of agency, effort and willingness to fully experience uncomfortable, sometimes truly painful thoughts and emotions.
This is why on what I'd like to call one of World's Health days I choose to focus on two of the protective factors I believe we can all commit to put effort into within our family, social, and working environments: Compassion and Non Violent Communication.
What Is Compassion?
Compassion literally means “to suffer together.” Among emotion researchers, it is defined as the feeling that arises when you are confronted with another’s suffering and feel motivated to relieve that suffering.
Compassion is not the same as empathy or altruism, though the concepts are related. While empathy refers more generally to our ability to take the perspective of and feel the emotions of another person, compassion is when those feelings and thoughts include the desire to help. Altruism, in turn, is the kind, selfless behaviour often prompted by feelings of compassion, though one can feel compassion without acting on it, and altruism isn’t always motivated by compassion.
While cynics may dismiss compassion as touchy-feely or irrational, scientists have started to map the biological basis of compassion, suggesting its deep evolutionary purpose. This research has shown that when we feel compassion, our heart rate slows down, we secrete the “bonding hormone” oxytocin, and regions of the brain linked to empathy, caregiving, and feelings of pleasure light up, which often results in our wanting to approach and care for other people. (berkley.edu)
Prof. Paul Gilbert defines compassion as including courage and wisdom.
Self compassion has been compared to self esteem, providing a very interesting perspective
for educators and psychologists.
Self-esteem is described as requiring you to compare yourself to others. On the other hand, self-compassion requires no comparison to others, but rather involves being warm and understanding toward yourself even at times of failure.
To learn more, you can explore this article by Dr. Kristin Neff https://self-compassion.org/why-self-compassion-is-healthier-than-self-esteem
What is non violent communication?
NVC is founded on language and communication skills that strengthen our ability to remain human, even under trying conditions. It contains nothing new; all that has been integrated into NVC has been known for centuries. The intent is to remind us about what we already know—about how we humans were meant to relate to one another—and to assist us in living in a way that concretely manifests this knowledge.
NVC guides us in reframing how we express ourselves and hear others. Instead of habitual,
automatic reactions, our words become conscious responses based firmly on awareness of
what we are perceiving, feeling, and wanting. We are led to express ourselves with honesty
and clarity, while simultaneously paying others a respectful and empathic attention. In any
exchange, we come to hear our own deeper needs and those of others. NVC trains us to
observe carefully, and to be able to specify behaviors and conditions that are affecting us.
We learn to identify and clearly articulate what we are concretely wanting in any given
situation. The form is simple, yet powerfully transformative.
As NVC replaces our old patterns of defending, withdrawing, or attacking in the face of
judgment and criticism, we come to perceive ourselves and others, as well as our intentions
and relationships, in a new light. Resistance, defensiveness, and violent reactions are minimized. When we focus on clarifying what is being observed, felt, and needed rather than on diagnosing and judging, we discover the depth of our own compassion.
Through its emphasis on deep listening—to ourselves as well as to others— NVC fosters respect, attentiveness, and empathy and engenders a mutual desire to give from the heart.
Although I refer to it as 'a process of communication' or 'a language of compassion', NVC is more than a process or a language. On a deeper level, it is an ongoing reminder to keep our attention focused on a place where we are more likely to get what we are seeking.
Marshall B. Rosenberg, Ph.D.
One big part of promoting health/mental health is to focus on what we can do and act accordingly: learn about it, take a stand, widen our perspective, talk about it, stop the stigma starting from our own personal, cultural and social biases; notice and accept when it is difficult, take some time to regulate our emotions and choose to perform prosocial acts, in full awareness. BE the difference.
A personal experience: I remember watching The Joker at the movie theatre some months ago. While I was experiencing full compassion towards the experience of the protagonist on the screen, his suffering and breakdown, I found myself irritated and somehow scared by the unusual physical reactions of the person sitting next to me.
The lady was alone, watching the movie.
By noticing my own reaction, I could see how my experiences towards the movie and towards the lady were connected, and felt the need to be more coherent. This awareness, facilitated by a strong intention and years of practice, allowed me to cultivate being more welcoming, kind and aware, keen towards prosocial actions in that situation.
It is an ongoing journey, it doesn't stop. And we should remind ourselves that, as Franco Basaglia powerfully stated, da vicino nessuno è normale (F. Basaglia)
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